We are moving this week, just three blocks away from where we currently live, but all moves feel like cross-county moves. We have been packing up and living off paper plates for a month, just long enough to feel like our entire lives have been torn into little pieces of paper and thrown into the air while we wait to see how the confetti changes the look of our landscape.
If I am being honest, I have been wishing the days away this past month, saying things like, “when we get into the new house” or, “when we are settled.” I have been more concerned with ‘when our future happens,’then what is happening right in front of me.
I blame this wishing-the-day-away on the small, nagging lostness I carry around deep inside. It’s my dazed drifting leaving me wild and grasping for a feeling of being settled,wanting all of the details of my life to make sense and believing the next step will finally bring some sense of having it all together.But the truth is, we will move into our new house, and I will be tempted to wish away the days until we are unpacked, or until some other exciting opportunity is on the horizon.
Do you ever find yourself wishing the day away?
When my kids were really little I remember waking up some mornings and being so tired I was already looking forward to nap time. Or there were seasons when I thought life would be easier when we didn’t have to buy diapers or when everyone could feed themselves.
I believe this practice sunburns our souls. It has made us uncomfortable in our own skin,chronically anxious about time, desperately striving to create a meaningful, purposeful, joy-filled life when the truth is, most of us already have the exact thing we have been wishing for. We just have forgotten to notice it.
What I am learning very slowly, and with a lot of fumbling steps, is it is too easy to wish away days in anticipation of some future event that never satisfies. Rather, it is the people beside us and the view before us, and the ground beneath our feet that is the really good, soul-satisfying stuff. It seems to me part of being human is learning how to celebrate the occasionally uncomfortable, but mostly beautiful moments, happening to us right this very moment.
This originally appeared in Hello, Dearest Fall 2015.